


Low Points and High Notes

by vanillafluffy



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Crack, Gen, Hurt Clint Barton, Medical, Medical Malarkey
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-27
Updated: 2019-05-27
Packaged: 2020-03-20 01:15:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18982195
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillafluffy/pseuds/vanillafluffy
Summary: The theme was crack and the prompt was, "Any character wakes up one morning only able to speak in catch phrases". Clint Barton won the coin toss. (I was ridiculously amused imagining Renner in this scene.)





	Low Points and High Notes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Brumeier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brumeier/gifts).



Before he even opens his eyes, Clint rubs his forehead, which aches abominably. He isn’t hungover; he knows what that feels like…this is more like his skull is too tight for his brains.

“Oh good, you’re awake!” Phil has been sitting in a chair in the corner of the room--Clint recognizes the helicarrier’s sick bay--now he sets aside his tablet and presses the Call button. “You took a helluva crack on the head. How are you feeling?”

“Today is the first day of the rest of your life!” he warbles, then stops, confused. Wasn’t that from an orange juice commercial or something? 

“Um, Clint?” Phil looks concerned. “Do you know who I am?”

“You’re my best friend--” Clint sings. Which isn’t a bad answer, but he isn’t sure why he’s singing at all, since it only adds to his headache.

There’s movement at the door as the doctor enters. Clint recognizes her, too--Dr. Potter. Porter? Something like that. “She’s the one they call Dr. Feelgood!” he greets her. Oh boy.

“Not today,” she says, approaching the bed. “Let’s get a look at you--” She produces a penlight and flashes it in his eyes.

“Blinded by the light--” he complains. Manfred Mann’s Earth Band knows what it’s talking about..

“He’s singing,” Phil says, sounding as anxious as he looks. “Just singing.”

Clint tries to reassure him, since aside from the headache, he doesn’t feel that bad. ”Don’t you worry ‘bout a thing, mama--!”

“How many fingers am I holding up?” Dr Porter asks (She’s close enough that he can see her nametag: Sydney Porter, M.D.). 

“One is the loneliest number--”

“And now?”

“Two can be as bad as one, it’s the loneliest number since the number one--”

“Do you know where you are?”

“Up, up and away, in a beautiful balloon!” Oops, definitely not the right answer. “Leaving on a jet plane--” This is only getting worse. “Ground control to Major Tom,” he chants gloomily.

“Can you tell me who the President is?”

“Oh, the bitch is back, stone cold sober as a matter of fact--”

“He seems to be perfectly rational,” Porter says to Phil with a dimple in her cheek. “Believe it or not. This is a rare condition that sometimes manifests after a head injury...it's called melodic aphasia. Aphasia is when the brain has difficulty accessing vocabulary in the usual way. Melodic aphasia occurs when the brain retrieves analogous lyrics to fit the circumstances.”

“Is that going to be permanent?” Phil asks. Clint wants to know, too.

“It should clear up in a few days. Meanwhile, Clint, lay off the booze--and maybe go do some karaoke.”

…


End file.
